Second thoughts.

Sometimes, when we have already made a decision, either small decisions or big decisions, there comes a second thought. It makes us feel uneasy of decision we have made. The worst part, this second thought comes right after we have agreed on something. If it comes prior to decision making, it might helps us. But what to help when the decision has been made. It makes us worry and uncomfortable. It makes us guilty in charge of our decision. It makes us feel terrible. Second thoughts usually come in an opposite of our decision. For example, we decide to buy an Iphone 6, once bought there comes second thought "I wish to have spent it on vacation.". Which we cannot undo the situation. Another example, we have made up our mind to join another venture in another company and already signed the offer letter, second thought'd be like, "What if the next company is totally a nightmare?"

This wishful thinking, the "if" questions that been wandering in our mind are really disturbing. I dont know about others, but it happens to me. But if you were me, how do you handle second thoughts? Do you trust your second thoughts? Can it be changed and follow your second thoughts instead? Would that pay you more satisfaction in your life? Or you just ignore and let it be? Cause after all, it is just a second thought. What comes after that, is a life-experience.

Second thoughts can make you feel scared of moving forward. It makes you stay in one place. That what I presume. Cause to get out of your comfort zone, ignore the scary, uneasy second thoughts of yours.

If the world can survive, we can survive.

Defining the right man.

This is not about finding the right one. This is about defining the right one. How do we define a right guy? Is he smart, handsome, rich and romantic? Are the typical characteristics of perfect guy define the right guy? It is not hard to find the typical guy. Most of the guys have it. But to deeply consider he is the right guy, how is it possible to determine just to ensure you are not falling to the wrong ones?

I came across to these questions cause it's in the news and people are talking about it, it's everywhere. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, drug 'black sheep', go for robbery together (with husband / boyfriend), etc. I am not talking about cheating, normal scandal relationship couples are having, but more than that. Sexual abuse and physical abuse, who would have foreseen it could happen in the future? No women have the ability to foresee the future. The guy we used to know, so romantic and nice, a very gentleman guy, turned out to be a real monster in our life. We thought we have married to the right guy, well when they changed into a monster, where the "right" has gone? It is all blurry and dark, for once we knew him so well, it turned into a completely stranger.

It just happened in my current employment, one of my staffs. she was caught recently in a hotel room with a 3 plus kg of drugs. She was supposed to meet her boyfriend and the boyfriend asked her to wait in the hotel room he booked. She went there and waited for the boyfriend. The only knock on the door she had is the policemen who wanted to search the room and yes, they found drugs in it as well. The drugs and the girl. This is a serious case. It was in the paper. She might be ended up on the noose.

It was a story back then, a wife who wanted to sue the police department for accusing her husband a bank robber. She claimed her husband was a fine religious man, always went to the mosque for praying and submitting oneself to God. The husband was shot dead somewhere in south Malaysia. And police department brought out all the documents they kept and defended that they had been following the husband for months. The mosque he went was replaced to hotel rooms with other girls. There were proof, pictures, thumbprint, credit card bills, all on the husband's name. The wife was speechless. I bet she could die in shock.

Sometimes, we might know someone so much, more than ourselves, but yeah, trust no one. You will never know a person enough, cause time flies, people changes, shit happens. Nevertheless, once you have known your man is a total jerk, dont think twice to dump him. Think of a better future. It's better be a single, than being in a double trouble.

Good luck!

For a pessimist, Im pretty optimistic.

There are people who stay in one company for quite a long time, there are not. There are those who never changed company, there are those who changed company quite a few times. There are some people who settle in a company for the rest of their life, and there are not.

I see people come and go, in my current company, in my previous employment as well. Reasons being, we are working in a private sector and if we want to get promoted early, to get high salary increment, to experience new things, we need to jump companies, from one company to another. The chances are high. But if you are staying in one company, the chances are there, but limited. The competition is high. This is actually same competition if you move to another company, you have to compete with those who are applying on the jobstreet, in the newspapers and other job advertisement means that the company is using. People will have more qualification and experiences than you. But, the employers dont know you, and if you are selected, you can sell the very best of yourself. If you are staying in one company, your boss has known you for quite a long time and the boss might have his/her own preferences on promoting someone. This is called, favoritism. 

We are not talking about favoritism .

I want to talk about people who have scary thoughts on people who are jumping companies. 

There is always, every single time, more than one person who will give scary thoughts to us if we tell them we are joining a new venture in another company. I got this almost every time. From my own experiences, the moment i tell my colleagues I am resigning, almost all feedback I received are, "its tough, I dont think you can survive that." "Ouh, ****** industry is tough, they will ask you to work like a dog, you'll go back late, life-less." And some other statements which I pretended not to hear. All these negative thoughts, at first, I did give a second thought on my decision to jump, It affected me, thank you. But I knew back then, and I know now, you'll never know if you have never experienced it. And for those who have given their negative feedback, they dont even have the experience as well working in such industries. They just heard from 'people'. Or sometimes, they are assuming. So, I told myself, "what the hell. Im still young and this is the time for me to learn." And I will tell you this, you will never waste any day of your life if the purpose you are doing something is to learn / to gain / to know better / etc. 

Well at least, they should have given this feedback, "Wow, good for you. Good luck!" You will only receive this feedback in your farewell cards!

Be positive and dont be afraid of the future, cause we all will never know. 

Too old for stupid pictures, too young for stupid pictures

What I mean by stupid pictures are mostly selfies, and by selfies I mean alone.
Most of my following on instagram, they love taking a selfie picture alone. This mostly happens to girls, and some metrosexual and gay guys. Normal guys dont do selfie. I'm not sure of normal girls love to selfie, we do yes, but to post it on instagram and let everyone see your selfie, not all normal girls do that.

I had a conversation with my bestfriend, she also happens to dislike girls do selfie. Especially when there are no one else to do wefie, only her, and take a selfie in a different places or same places and give a lot of expressions. Some girls love to take one-sided of the face because you know girls, we have this insecurity feelings that only one-sided of the face is pretty. The other side is totally look like a different person. Some girls love to take the same expression, duck face, smiley face, bored face etc. Some girls love to do collage picture of many facial expression at one time. So, my friend and I were discussing why do girls take selfie and post it on instagram? And the captions don't even match the picture, don't even explain anything. For example, a good smiley selfie, but the caption is "stomachache?" How does that even make sense to the good smiley selfie? And the question with a lot of different answers which can be offended came out between me and my friend. We were thinking of, probably too bored, too insecure they can fake it in the picture and post it so everyone will praise "aww, you're so cute!", probably you are a just plain bimbo. That's offensive.

Weird.

Well, about taking pictures, like weird pose, 'gedik' caption, some other pictures like showing off what you eat, what you buy, what you wear, does everyone has to do this? What is it that we get by posting all these pictures? Promoting something? Showing off to your nemesis? Or simply because you love taking photos? But what other reason that is legit than, "I want to take photo of my very expensive perfume and post it on instagram so that everyone knows that I wear expensive perfume, I can afford it, like what?" Is this a legit reason? You decide.

We are too old to take selfie though, well in my case. I am 26, and I dont think selfie is healthy. I once told myself, I would rather ask a stranger to capture me in the moment than taking a selfie. And I personally admit that I am quite annoyed seeing girls at my age posted selfie on instagram (too much of selfies, super duper annoying). Probably because Im not good at selfie, so thats why.

Whatever it is, people will say, "my instagram, my pictures. If you dont like it, do unfollow".

Alrighty then. Unfollow.

Wrong ring, wrong guy.

I just finished watching Sex and The City Season 4. Maybe I need a little throwback and I missed watching the live of these four girls. In one of the episodes where Aidan proposed Carried, a little earlier before that, Aidan bought a ring which is not "Carrie". Samantha said, "Wrong ring, wrong guy."

Wrong ring, wrong guy. 

That is simply some statements for the drama. But, is that true? 

The guys in my culture nowadays also have practically adapt the culture of the westerns. They throw a surprise proposal. So, of course, the girl won't have the chance to pick the ring. Unlike those days back in my mother's era, the girl picked the ring she wanted to wear. Simply because they wanted to have the right ring and perfect fit on their finger. Thus, it wouldn't be a waste. 

It happened to me where my boyfriend did a surprise proposal as well. A bit of a westerns, but still maintaining the malay culture and reflecting the religion. It was the best proposal I could have ever imagined in my entire life, which I have never imagined about this before (cause you know, I daydream a lot, this is excluded in my daydreams.). He brought his parents and siblings meeting my family and proposed. That's my friend, very classy. 

Well, going back to the ring. He didn't pick the ring too. His mother did. And it's perfect. Perfect ring and perfect fit. I couldn't ask for more and I am grateful. I believe, if you have found the right man, he won't do the wrong things to you. Everything little things, every big decisions, every move he want to make, he will do it right for you. And that's my friend, a soul mate. 

Its cliche, but its worth the time to think about...

This year, make a resolution you can keep. Stop doing things that are no longer in your best interest. Here are 15 things you must STOP doing in 2015 to truly move forward and live this year to the fullest:

1. Stop showing and telling everything to everyone.

The world does not need to know your every move; leave some things to the imagination. Mystery is good.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others.

What you see is NOT what you get, or even what the true reality of a situation is. We all spend way too much of our time comparing our lives to others; yet, we all forget that the pictures we see of others on Instagram and Facebook are simply highlights of their lives.

They aren’t the everyday; they aren’t the struggle; they aren’t the bad hair day. They are the edited, Photoshopped and posed highlight reel of a momentary highlight of someone else’s life.

3. Stop worrying about what others think of you.

People will judge you regardless of what you do, so do what you want. There’s nothing wrong with walking your own journey on a path you create.

You don’t have to do, like or want the things that other people try, love or desire. Start that blog, write that article or wear that outfit about which you’ve been hesitant. In the great words of Kid Cudi, “They gon’ judge me anyway, so whatever.”

4. Stop waiting.

If you don’t take the chance or risk it all now… when will you? Time will always be hard to find. Start now and go after what you want, or wait for later and hope that later isn’t too late.

5. Stop doubting.

If you have an idea or feeling that keeps coming back to you, make it happen. When an idea keeps coming back, it’s for a reason. Take action and follow the ideas that flood your mind. Million-dollar ideas are a dime a dozen, but it’s only one in a million who follow through with their ideas.

6. Stop being a stranger.

We’re all in this together. When you give the world the best you have, the best comes back to you. Be good to people. Popularity fades, kindness does not.

7. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

You are not a victim; it’s time to get out of your own way. If you find yourself constantly surrounded by drama, you are the one enabling it.

You will never be able to control what others do; however, you are in full control of how you react. Realize that you can overcome hard times. Instead of attending your own pity party, you can accept the fact that only you can change your thoughts and experiences.

You have the power to control your feelings.

8. Stop standing in your own way.

The thoughts in your head about yourself and your situation really do affect your life. Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t reside in-between your own ears.

Follow your intuition and learn that nothing that lasts is started through force. If you have to force it, leave it behind.

9. Stop feeling guilty.

There is a difference between moving on and quitting. Understand that it’s okay to grow out of things. You don’t have to want the same things you wanted when you were 16, 18, 21 or 25…

Life changes, and so do we. Staying where you are and living with guilt or fear is a guaranteed trip to nowhere. You’re allowed to move on and miss it at the same time. Missing something or someone doesn’t make you weak; it makes you real.

10. Stop thinking money creates value.

Don’t overvalue short-term benefits. Higher pay doesn’t equate to a job that will make you feel complete. A significant other with a nice car doesn’t equal a lifetime of happiness.

Choose a job that will give you experience, more opportunities and tons of room for professional and personal growth. Choose a relationship based on someone’s heart, not bank account.

11. Stop feeling obligated.

Don’t make decisions based on what you think you SHOULD do.

Don’t take advice from people who don’t have to live with the result of the decision. Make decisions based on what you WANT to do. It’s your life and you’ll have to live with the choices you make. You don’t need to choose the mediocre when greatness exists.

12. Stop saying “yes” all the time.

No is a complete sentence. You owe no one an explanation for not wanting to go out, not wanting to take a drink, not wanting to stay over, not wanting to go to the reunion.

13. Stop thinking everything is a competition.

The true definition of power is how much you can give back, and not just monetarily. Being powerful is like being classy: If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

14. Stop trying to be like everyone else.

Once and for all, own who you are, own where you’ve been, and don’t be afraid to tell your story.

15. Stop thinking you have to get it right on the first try.

No one else has it figured out, either. There is no guidebook or perfect formula, and often, life works much more as a process of elimination to figure out what we want.

We learn more and more about ourselves and the things that truly make us happy every day — and more importantly, the things that don’t. There are moments in life when everything is blurry and moments everything seems to be in focus.

Just like the lens of a camera, you have the power to adjust your vision. And, even on the darkness days, where you can’t see anything, just keep moving forward. It’s the only constant and forever the direction in which we all must go.

What do I hate about Malaysian drivers?

1. Changing lanes without indication. Yes, I know you are changing lanes because I can literally read your mind.

2. Spit on the road while driving! Or sometimes, the passenger. I can see you man, I am beside you waiting for the green lights, can you please stop doing stupid thing? It is really disgusting. Just stop.

3. Driving too slow on the fast lane. Since when 60km/h is the new speed on the fast lane? Fast lane is for 80km/h and above. And don't you feel guilty driving too slow on the fast lane? If I were you, I'd feel guilty, I'd rather driving in the middle lane or slow lane. That is the whole idea of these three lanes were created right?

4. Cut the line. No no no, this is just wrong. We all want to reach to our destination fast, so be patience dude. We feel you too, but apparently you're to selfish to feel us too.

What a bummer some drivers nowadays.
I go back and forth to office everyday feeling so stressed on the road.
Life.